An attractive 15 year female gives a testimony at a Christian youth conference telling of dating Seth when she was 14 years old. She and Seth had sex, felt guilty about the sexual relations and began reading the Bible together. After a few weeks “It became clear to us that God wants nothing more for us but to feel good and be happy.” She went on to say, “We realized that having sex made the two of us happy. Since then we have been having sex and enjoying it.” The crowd of teenagers broke into applause. The youth pastor waiting to speak on sexual purity was stunned. Such is the state of much of American “feel good about yourself at all costs “ church culture.
The sophomore was right! Sex feels good. It feels right. But it’s the chemicals-oxytocin, vasopressin and dopamine going off. This is our body talking. Our bodies are good but they are good jack asses. Our bodies must be ruled by someone with more sense than a jack ass. Sex feels right because it is generically good but the royal rule of Jesus and his wisdom tells you, “It is not for me at this time with this person. “We are not free to do whatever the chemicals say feels good. We are free to become who we are; like an acorn tree is free to become an oak.
Brakes exist not to ruin the trip but to help us get there in one piece. Jeeps on mountains sometimes fall two thousand feet to total destruction simply because nobody applied the brakes. Brakes exist to serve purpose.
Sexual intercourse belongs in marriage and nowhere else because it is expressive of a one flesh intimacy-this is the unitive purpose-the nurturing of love purpose. The other purpose of sexual intercourse in marriage is procreative. (See Genesis 2:21-25 and Matthew 19:1-12) The unitive purpose of marriage nurtures the love that makes the house a home for the children and the parents. All of this is true because we are humans – not guppies!
Purpose-not causes – drives everything. The purpose of the lungs is to oxygenate blood. Suppose someone says the purpose of my lungs is to sniff glue. You would think that’s nuts! The sniffing of glue does not change the purpose of the lungs. It violates it. To think of pleasure as the primary purpose of sexual intercourse is to make our bodies no more than tools for sending agreeable sensations to our minds. When sex is for pleasure then people become highly disposable-after all we must sacrifice everything for the highest high.
Our impulses need carving and shaping to preserve their inborn purposes. An acorn becomes a tree after being planted and tended. The best instance of an acorn is not a “scantily dressed up acorn” but a tree. The best instance of a human male or female is not a “glorified walking packet of urges,” but those who for their highest purposes give Jesus command of themselves.
Suggested Reading, J. Budziszewski, The Meaning of Sex