Forget homosexual marriage for a minute; let’s talk about what happened to marriage within the “crooked straight” community during the last forty-five years. We begin with the Texas no-fault divorce statute of 1970 – the most casual divorce statute in the world. A law professor of mine said in 1980, “The sanctity of marriage is nonexistent.”
Marriage, even then, was no longer understood as a “till death do us part-“ covenant, but rather a contract that could be discarded at will. The party breaching the covenant suffered no damages whatsoever. Marriage became “whatever we negotiate.” This was experienced as a 9.9 earthquake within the American family.
Marriage as a sacrament, “what God joins together let no man put asunder” and marriage as a binding covenant were quietly dieing within the hearts and minds of Americans, including many American Christians. Covenantal marriage between a man and a woman became the minority position.
Ninety percent of the unmarried under twenty five have had sexual intercourse. Having sex is more descriptive of what is going on than “making love.” Even when living together the word partner is now as common as lover. This is expressive of love disillusionment and fear of “caring too much.” Having sex, making money, and having children is the dream of many 20 year olds today, but not necessarily marriage. The average male gets married at age twenty-nine, later than any generation in American history. The female just a couple of years sooner.
Fewer Americans over twenty-five years of age are married than at any time in American history. Many, having been divorced multiple times, live together but are giving up on marriage. Christian singles give three reasons not to get married: the mess their parents have made of marriage; fear of their selfishness being challenged; they are made for another calling-chastity.
It’s the culture of easy no-fault exits; neutral elders. These elders are the therapeutic village elders who are morally neutral, not church elders. Much of the counsel regarding divorce contains no moral dimension. It merely says, “We can help you get a divorce or stay married. It doesn’t matter to us;” autonomous (I alone decide) romanticism (feelings of love are everything) I alone will decide whom to marry based on my feelings; no spiritual community encircling marriages that possesses any real authority.
But though the statistics for the greater society are dismal I see many wonderful marriages inside powerful spiritual communities of Lordship faith. I see young and old disciples of Jesus submitting their wedding plans to the Lord God and the Christian community, and going through exhaustive premarital and marital counseling. Christian marriage, an act of faith in Jesus as Lord, is becoming a significant sign of the Kingdom’s in breaking in the middle of the chaos. Many outside the faith ask those inside The Faith “What is the secret to your joyful enduring marriage?” The answer is a beautiful moment of witness to Jesus!